Opinion: We shouldn’t be promoting divorce

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This past week’s Mishpacha cover caught my eye and I want to share my opinion about it.

With the most respect to a wonderful magazine such as Mishpacha, I must say that I abhor the title to this week’s magazine. Their Headline is “Can we find a better way to divorce?”. Is it a great substantive and appropriate title in and of itself, yes. However, for the general public including children to see such a headline on a magazine is not appropriate in my opinion. We shouldn’t be promoting divorce and that’s the way it comes across.”

That being said I understand how important this topic is. However, a solid and healthy society desperately needs stable homes as a bedrock and although it’s, unfortunately, becoming more popular we should try with all our might not to help the trend grow and be extra careful with how our headlines can be portrayed.

Much Hatzlacha!

A Lakewood Baalebos

30 COMMENTS

  1. A great deal of the problem came about from Litvishe Feminist Rabbonim who would advise women to get restraining orders against their husbands which they would than use as an excuse to have their Ex Husbands arrested so as to use against them for Custady and child support or sometimes just to get revenge against their ex for any perceived insult or grievance

    • Yep, she just did it to me.
      Cost me 10k but the judge dismissed the whole thing.

      The “rabbi” in my case is the…Editor removed…

  2. You are so right, Mishpacha Magazine is trying to open the Overton Window and we have to slam it shut. Children should not be exposed to this material. I won’t be purchasing another Mishpacha Magazine again.

  3. I did not read the article (barely read articles) but I heard it was a good article…. Should NOT have been on the front cover….

  4. All they want to do is sell magazines & a sensational headline is how you sell. Don’t think for a moment it’s about the public good.

  5. At first I thought it was the cover of another magazine that has a reputation for such controversial things. I’m very surprised that Mishpacha would have such a cover headline.

  6. I was extremely surprised when I saw this title on the magazine in my home. I already cancelled a subscription to a different “Jewish” magazine due to it having a non Jewish Ruach. Mishpachah now has one strike against them, one more and I am done with them.

  7. sorry to say this, but this is what happens when we allow the therapist culture to penetrate our midst.
    When people seek advice from therapists who get their Hashkafa from the outside world rather than gedolim- you can expect them to get divorced & not bring shalom.

    Same with OTD teens – their goal is not to keep them close to family or on the D, rather “independence”, “confidence”, “self esteem” etc. etc. (which are nice things, but not the response to a teen/couple in crisis)
    The Torah way would “empower” people to make peace with their family members/spouses…

    Shame on them for selling themselves out.

  8. PRENUP; MANY YEARS AGO sincere ehrliche people drafted a prenup that maybe acceptable al pi torah
    and a draft copy was sent to rav shloma zalmen & rav eliyashiv zatzl. rav shlome zalmen reviewed it for a number of days and said as follows;”b’erech” that it satisfied the major halcha parts lefi most rishonim and would be a yeshua for those tragic & painful aguna situations BUT WHAT WOULD IT DO TO THE INSTITUTION OF MARRAIGE, the godol was scared of the message it sends that you go in w one foot and if it works good & if its not what ” you thought” you have an eject button & you are out. rav eliyashiv zatzl similarly that numerous couples are happily married today yet had a miserable ” shana rishona” ( he added that he never understood vos iz azoi shver leben mit a bas yisroel/ ben torah)
    one more point that i was told by a satmar dayan ; that when a young woman / yungerman in shana rishona come to him for a get & he asks whats wrong and they answer i dont hate him JUST THIS IS NOT WHAT I ORDERED there isnt much to do.;

  9. Aside from the major Halacha issues of pre-nuptials that Mispacha is counting on the older generation having forgotten and the younger generation being clueless about, any Choson who signs one seems like a fool.

    He is signing that if his wife walks out on him he has to give her $55,000 a year until the divorce is finalized. Conversely, if he walks out on her, he ALSO has to pay her $55,000 a year until the divorce is finalized.

    Why should any Chosson agree to sign an agreement like that?

  10. I’m not addressing if Mishpacha is a magazine for a ben-torah or not.
    But the fault with these divorces are “all” of the Botei-Dinim and the “Toy’anim”.
    They encourage divorces, they force them (by their mafia tactics, and money gouging) to use the courts, to look for “Pre-Nupts”, Order of protection, etc.

  11. When one goes to the Botei Dinim / Toy’anim, they make them give up all of their Halachic and civil rights all through the “color of law”. The Dai’yonim / Toi’anim are all posul for Aidus. Any one of them that is an “aid-kedushin”, and one may not even need a get, R”L.

  12. The Charedei tzibur must frown upon those who sin and use arkois! It is a horrific Chillul shem shamayim r’l. Additionally, those “Rabbi’s” who sanction its use are to be ostracized as noted below.

    וכל המוסר ישראל ביד עובד כוכבים, בין בגופו בין ממונו, אין לו חלק לעולם הבא, ויורדים לגהינם ונידונין לדורי דורות וגופן כלה ונשמתן כלה, וגריעי מהמשומדים וכו’ כמבואר בשו”ע חו”מ סי’ שפ”ח ובש”ך שם, ובהרמ”א שם “וכן מחרימין המחזיק ביד ההולך לפני גוים”

  13. I have not yet had the opportunity to read the article, but I certainly intend to.

    Divorce involves the dynamics of those involved. In my case a known Oisvorf destroyed not only my marriage but children too.

    Numerous commentators below take issue with the very issue being addressed. While others wish it wasn’t on page one.
    Since when are we Jews afraid to address a topic?

    Are you equally offended by Ravina and Rav Ashi for having the nerve to set aside an entire Masechta on the topic?
    Are you offended that they named it Gittin and on the cover!…?

    Divorce when discussed with care and balance is not contagious.

    Wishing the topic didn’t exist or that it be relegated to the back pages, does not make the issue, that some are uncomfortable with, just disappear.

    Divorce is horrible! I know I’m in the middle of one.

    Not less but more discussion is warranted. Awareness of the issues and YES doing it better is well worth educating those considering this very terrible and drastic last solution.

    Big Kudos to Mishpacha for having the maturity and integrity to address the issue.

  14. תלמוד בבלי מסכת שבת דף קלט עמוד א
    תניא, רבי יוסי בן אלישע אומר
    אם ראית דור שצרות רבות באות עליו – צא ובדוק בדייני ישראל. שכל פורענות שבאה לעולם לא באה אלא בשביל דייני ישראל
    ואין הקדוש ברוך הוא משרה שכינתו על ישראל עד שיכלו שופטים ושוטרים רעים מישראל

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